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This is me!

Well so much for my regular blog. Life happens. All good intentions went out of the window. Many reasons why.  I have been really unsettled as to where I should blog. I believe I upset some of you with one of my recent ramblings, that was possibly too honest about how I feel. But as the song goes ‘This is me’. Following the deep and sad sense of offending some of my non Christian friends, I thought it would be a wiser move to open a new page, one that likeminded souls could follow. A safe environment to share my thoughts and feelings about my faith. To rave about God’s creation, His influences, His word, His Love, Power, Grace and Sacrifice, without causing offence to those I love. But ‘this IS me’, this is who I am. I live and breathe Jesus. I try to live a better life each day. I fail. He forgives me. I try again. The circle continues... I know I am beautiful in His sight, as all of us are. He created me to be me. You to be you. You are all beautiful. I am no better than you, I am no
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What word is on your umbrella?

What  a crazy world we are living in. So many sad stories, of not only Covid related deaths, but it feels like a harvest of the best souls, some sudden and some expected. Going into 2021 feels a little more ‘eerie’ than any new year before. Unprecedented times, making even our familiar safe places, like church, unavailable or different in manner. No weekly hugs, smiles and affirmation of love on a personal level, to fuel you up for the week ahead. Living alone in this wilderness, I am sure is one of the hardest sufferings, maybe leading to mood swings, depression and lethargy.  FaceTime is indeed a Blessing, the odd text messages, the ‘old fashioned‘ card through the post, the shy smile from a stranger at a safe distance on a nice fresh walk, these all pep us up, but the days can be long. We are created I am convinced to be among others. We thrive sitting with friends, for a lovely cup of tea, a biscuit and a good chat. Lots of giggles, building us up, filling us with that ‘feel good f
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Sorry Jesus

 At 25 years of age I opened my heart to Christ in a road to Damascus conversion. From that moment until last Tuesday, 12th of January 2021, I trusted Jesus implicitly for 33 years. It was after 7 years of walking with Him, getting to know Him. Recognising when he spoke to my heart, prompting me, reassuring me, guiding me. That our first storm hit. Our Christ and King humbled Himself, preparing me beyond measure. When the tidal wave of grief came, I had already battened down the hatches. I was strangely ready. He had shown me He had sorted out the finer details, years before. Just days before, the small hints appeared like a weather warning on the tv forecast. ‘Here deep in your heart, will be a pain so great, I will hold your heart in mine. Many will Pray, When the wave washes over you I will pick you up so you don’t fall, I will hold you safely in my arms, until the waters subside and the ground is firm enough to place you back down. Then I will take your hand gently yet securely, an
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I preferred ‘numb’

 I have 48% charge on my iPad. This could be 47% more than I need, as this may be the shortest blog, as feeling so very sad, or I may have to plug it in, if I get going..and you may be asleep by the end.  Starting the daily blogs when I did, did not seem that wise, but on hindsight for me it has been therapeutic, and the timing perfect. Daily, is no longer significant, more ‘when the writing comes’. Maybe this will be the habit forming and focus I require to get a book written. Many of you know the book I have wanted to write for many years, and it remains in my heart and head. It is the one titled “I don’t believe it, co-incidence or God”.  As the years progressed and I exclaimed so many times I don’t Believe it, the more chapters merged into volumes. I do believe Our Lord has done it all, but it is ‘unbelievable.’ I have always wanted to write the facts, and for everyone to decide themselves co-incidence or God. Sadly they all remain locked away in my thoughts, not on paper to share
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Numb ...

 Sunday I started a new blog, then got distracted as felt a longing to visit my baby brother. Anyone who watched Gavin and Stacey Christmas repeat from last year, will know that ‘baby Neil’ is now 12. My baby brother is 55, 56 on 17th January. There is often a debate as to whether it is better to ‘know’ someone is terminal, or better to have no warning. My sister in law said a few months ago, through very sad tears, she wished she didn’t know her wonderful husband was facing death sometime in the near future. It was overwhelming to contemplate the how and when. I think some days she is glad they have known, and other more anxious days wished they were ignorant of what was to pass. David, himself, is glad he knew. He has had 6 amazing years that he did not anticipate once he had the original diagnosis at the tender age of 49. We wondered as it was stage 4 cancer, and spread quite fiercely that he may not make his 50th birthday. He did. He enjoyed his already planned party celebrations w
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‘Twas the night b4 Christmas...by crazy cat lady.

We have never before had to ‘fix’ the Christmas tree. Great job, Josh it looks as good as new. I think the cat prefers it looking pretty as he hasn’t climbed it again yet. Just sat staring. I think he believes we have undone all his hard work of removing all the ornaments and several branches so he has a good view from level ‘D’, colour coded purple. Maybe he has matured overnight and has moved on from cat teenager. Our eldest asked me today if the cat  is everything I had hoped it would be. It is a resounding ‘yes’. It has been many years since I cohabited with a feline. I once had a cat called Timmy, all black. He was badly injured one day, and my friend who I was sharing a house with volunteered to accompany us to the vets. Weirdly, well now it seems weird’, she came into the treatment room with us. Think we were about 21. Fit and healthy. So it was a complete shock when slumped on the floor behind me.  The poor vet was in the process of taking Timmy’s temperature...and wasn't s
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Stalker Smith

Well to be more accurate stalker ‘Turner’. Pete’s boss (a very dear and ‘old’ friend) asked him today if Pete had read my blogs. He answered simply no. His boss looked a little surprised. Pete followed up with “I live them”. So I thought today I would tell you how Pete swept me off my feet, begged me to go out with him...sorry that was in my dreams. It actually happened like this... Due to me being a somewhat lazy teenager, parents divorcing, and a hotchpot of reasons, I searched for affirmation and love in the wrong places.  Another story for another day.  Eventually I saw the ‘light’ literally during a church service. It was like a road to Damascus conversion. You can google that if it sounds weird. It was the changing point of my life. Opening my heart to Jesus. I know that will shock...no one. Well I hope not. My gratitude to God for filling me with a tangible love that Easter Sunday in 1987 is eternal. Most of you may have noticed I am a big fan. I’m so grateful my friend did not
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