‘Twas the night b4 Christmas...by crazy cat lady.

We have never before had to ‘fix’ the Christmas tree. Great job, Josh it looks as good as new. I think the cat prefers it looking pretty as he hasn’t climbed it again yet. Just sat staring. I think he believes we have undone all his hard work of removing all the ornaments and several branches so he has a good view from level ‘D’, colour coded purple.

Maybe he has matured overnight and has moved on from cat teenager. Our eldest asked me today if the cat  is everything I had hoped it would be.

It is a resounding ‘yes’. It has been many years since I cohabited with a feline. I once had a cat called Timmy, all black. He was badly injured one day, and my friend who I was sharing a house with volunteered to accompany us to the vets.

Weirdly, well now it seems weird’, she came into the treatment room with us. Think we were about 21. Fit and healthy. So it was a complete shock when slumped on the floor behind me. 

The poor vet was in the process of taking Timmy’s temperature...and wasn't sure what to do with the half inserted thermometer, He almost let go of the startled cat, whilst trying to reach down to help her up.

It turns out she had got too hot and had fainted.

As a contrast, today you make the appointment, drive to the car park. Call the vet on arrival. They come out and take your pet in, returning it when all has been done. Covid vet procedure. 

I do miss those awkward moments in the waiting room, cats in baskets, dogs on leads, either growling under their breath at their arch enemy, or whimpering whilst desperately trying to escape back to the car. They just knew what was coming.

I love pets, Pete does not. We do not have the best track record with animals. Nothing deliberate.

Lockdown bought a huge desire again for a dog. The argument for one to make me exercise every day did not cut the mustard. When we had the golden retrievers several years ago, I did take them out everyday, but they were let off the lead to run wild, whilst I sauntered along at a snails pace. 

I made the mistake of inviting Pete to come with us to the woods. It solved the mystery as to why his wife was not ultra thin with these hour long daily treks. It was fun though and I got lots of fresh air.

Because of lockdown, the dog prices had rocketed and retrievers, my all time favourite breed, were between £2,500 and £3,000 ...way outside our budget.

I found Albie locally for only £100. He was a bargain. Not pedigree of course. Excitedly I visited Pets at home before collecting him. I bought the soft cute cat bed amongst other essentials, like jangly bells and catnip felt mice. He has never slept in the bed. Ever. 

He sleeps in random boxes, on a dining room chair, a dolls rocking crib...granddaughters dolls pram, just not the luxury cat bed bought especially.

His favourite game is hide and seek. He is genius at it. Never knew they were that clever or tuned in. He is cuddly and affectionate. He loves watching videos for cats on you tube, on my iPad. 

Strangely he has always preferred Petes lap to mine, and Pete thankfully seems very happy with that. A miracle for sure.

My favourite time is when you are stroking him and his ‘happy motor’ is going. 

All the three granddaughters love him to bits. So yes he is more than I had hoped for and so happy to have a pet once again. He definitely ticks all the boxes. He also Poos in the litter box, which stinks. And is a Christmas tree destroyer, but still I think we will keep him.

If I confess to a murder, do I risk being reported to the RSPCA. Truly dithering about this. It will be an image that could destroy any notion that I am a ‘nice’ person. These blogs are meant to be brutally honest about life experiences though...

My parenting skills have never been ‘skills’. As an ADHD parent, it truly is a hit and miss affair. I reflect how the boys have survived a casual falling from one day to the next, parenting technique.

I often ponder that God Blessed me with boys as they would be more resilient to my ‘adhoc’ ways.

If I share the trauma I put our nos. 3 son through , you would probably not only agree with me, but offer to finance a post traumatic stress therapist for him, even it was several years ago.

Mmmm, can I trust you to trust me ever again?

To be fair the first gerbil was accidentally killed after it escaped. We had only had them for a few weeks. The boys were racing round trying to catch the cute critter. I could only watch as I’ve always had an aversion to holding small animals from small mice to giant rabbits. Their little claws freak me out.

I supervised by screaming various demands to trap it with a box, grab it as it passed...whilst I jumped on a chair in case it touched my foot. Our then 13 year old saw it go under the settee. To get to it easier he quickly lifted the front up, so he could see more clearly underneath.

There was a crunch as the back of the large chesterfield squished the teeny animal. Realising the error of his plan, he dropped the settee, went behind it and carefully picked up the very still ‘Sooty’.

Rheanna our surrogate daughter was among the rescue team. There was silence as they all watched with open mouths and wide eyes. No one breathed. Simon felt the pressure of bringing the much loved pet back to life, and tried to gently press his chest to resuscitate him. He applied too much pressure and sadly broke   It even more.

The only thing I held onto was that the gerbil had already parted for Heaven under the weight of a huge piece of furniture. It was a very swift end.

The burial was very moving.  Another lesson for them all to experience. Snuggles probably wondered where his mate had disappeared to, but must have been ok as he outlived Sooty by 5 years.

I thought they only lived for two.  Snuggles was an exceptional gerbil, became great friends with our first retriever. He was incredibly tame and much loved, especially by Josh who had first chosen him in the pet shop.

One day I came down to see the very old rodent, struggling to walk. It was slowly dragging itself across the cage. It looked very poorly,.as it was 5, I assumed it was ‘his time’  and if I took it to the vets they would euthanise it. With a huge injection. Poor little chap. I couldn’t bear the thought of him suffering so I had an alternative plan. A kinder one. 

It probably is not good to suggest my ADHD as an excuse. But one of the traits is not thinking things through. I didn’t.

I felt if I gently held it underwater it would go to gerbil Heaven quickly and not suffer a big needle. 

As it was Joshua’s gerbil I thought he may want to be there for the final journey.

Gross error as a mother. Truly epic fail. As I couldn’t hold the gerbil I wrapped it in a very soft flannel, lowered it gently into a bowl of warm water. As soon as it touched the water it escaped the flannel and started swimming frantically round and round the bowl. Joshua was screaming get him out.

I couldn’t catch him and he was elongating and his eyes started to bulge. I felt sick, and tried desperately to pick him back up without getting badly bitten. I wasn’t successful. Joshua was looking at me, deservedly like I was a murderer. I was. I had not considered it not being a quick kind way to put him out of his misery. 

I just wanted to help him on his way as he was very old and incapacitated.

The boys often tell people this story to their friends, I think it helps them heal by speaking about it. His friends look at me suspiciously when chopping meat up afterwards.

They cannot believe I could be so cruel. On hindsight I cannot believe I was to and that I thought I was being kind to Josh to be there to say goodbye to his beloved pet.

There are many facets to Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Like me starting a daily blog on Christmas Eve, to wish you a happy Christmas and end up confessing to murdering one of Gods beautiful creatures.

I may not publish this, as it won’t be a good start to your Christmas Day.

Let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to start...

Things to consider on Christmas Eve.

Do we have room for Jesus in our hearts this Christmas. 

Has Covid help you see that His presence is way more important than presents.

Have you finished your wrapping?

Peeled your Brussels sprouts?

Cooked sticky toffee pudding for the first time ever,? only to wish you had bought one from M and S, or Tesco’s. Never before have I seen a recipe where you pour 500ml over the cake mix before cooking it. Yes it told you to, along with 200g of brown sugar and dots of butter. 145 slimming world syns  in one serving I think.

In past years when the boys were little I would be so excited for them to open their stocking presents I would jump out of bed at 6am if they hadn’t woken up..Pete would quickly suggest I may want to leave it for at least another hour, but my excitement overruled and I would dart into their bedrooms to see the delight on their faces as they discovered Father Christmas HAD been. 

Then they would all bring their pillowcases/ stockings onto our bed. Pete would make a cup of tea and we would enjoy a wonderful time of shrieks of delight and much laughter as they unwrapped all their surprises.

Sometimes it was evident that Santa occasionally got the wrong size underpants in the wrong stocking...well he does have a zillion to fill in a short space of time, he should be forgiven, a quick  swop with your brother would fix it.

Two mini staplers though, that was unforgivable. Maybe Father Christmas was getting dementia.

Since they have grown into men, they open their presents downstairs by the tree. Grown men on their parents bed not only don’t fit easily, it would just feel a little awkward.

 We always start the day by singing a rousing happy birthday to Jesus. Then the fun begins...

Ok it’s 1.55am, the boys are all asleep, so I think it’s time to make those special delivery’s, without waking them up, so I must go...

Happy Christmas to you all. Whatever your family traditions, I hope you are surrounded by love, either in person or over Zoom. Hopefully you will plan a place for Jesus in your day, after all without Him we would not be celebrating Christmas at all. God Bless xx