This is me!

Well so much for my regular blog. Life happens. All good intentions went out of the window.

Many reasons why. 

I have been really unsettled as to where I should blog. I believe I upset some of you with one of my recent ramblings, that was possibly too honest about how I feel.

But as the song goes ‘This is me’.

Following the deep and sad sense of offending some of my non Christian friends, I thought it would be a wiser move to open a new page, one that likeminded souls could follow. A safe environment to share my thoughts and feelings about my faith. To rave about God’s creation, His influences, His word, His Love, Power, Grace and Sacrifice, without causing offence to those I love.

But ‘this IS me’, this is who I am. I live and breathe Jesus. I try to live a better life each day. I fail. He forgives me. I try again. The circle continues... I know I am beautiful in His sight, as all of us are. He created me to be me. You to be you. You are all beautiful.

I am no better than you, I am no more privileged in my mind than you are, I continue to be a sinner in need of redemption. I know my faith can irk you, it can come between us in challenging times. I still love you and I know you still love me. It can be tough for each of us. I’m sorry for any hurt I’ve caused you, I hope you forgive me.

I know you accept me, as I accept you. 

However since starting a new page, my second for similar reasons, I have been challenged by The Big Man more than once. Saturday, I read in the Mass from 1 Corinthians 9: 16-19, 22-23. A recognition  from Paul, that we are given responsibility to share the Gospel of Christ. Freely.

So a separate Facebook page is hiding the truth from those that may be ready to hear with ears that hear. The soil may be fertile. It is not for me to choose, My job is to throw out seeds, for God to water, in His time, not mine. He would want me to be open and brave.

Once I was ‘blind’. My dear friend spent a couple of years telling me how much Jesus loved me. I was 25 when the scales were removed from my eyes. She kept telling  me ‘One day He will get you’. 

I remember feeling that she was right, yet struggling to open my heart to letting Him in. I was scared. I would be trapped. Life would be boring. It was all rubbish. I continued to make fun of her and her new found faith.

I will be eternally grateful she never gave up on me. She kept praying I would see the truth. She wanted me to have the joy she knew in her heart. She wanted to share The Peace Jesus brings, The overwhelming unconditional love. She wanted it so badly for me, she could see how empty I was, how much I needed such sacrificial Love. I thought she was being ridiculous. I had always believed in God, I just didn’t ‘know’ Him, not in the way she wanted me to.

I owe her 34 years so far, and an eternity ahead of me, walking hand in hand with Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

Why you may ask? It is rubbish...Religion is like a crutch. Yes I agree it is a crutch when I need one. Right now, today I need the stretcher that rides beneath me, with angels on all sides, gently gliding me from one day to another, through one of the greatest storms in my 59 years. 

I am not sure when I will be ready to jump off and walk by myself. I know Jesus knows. I trust in Him.

It is a strange phenomenon when you have a Faith that is so intricately woven  in your very fibre. Your soul entwined with The Holy Spirit as He fills you with love that equips you to face each new day. 

Guiding, teaching, affirming, loving you in a way only a Father can do. We are His. He loves each and every one of us. It took me until 25 to know and accept that for myself. My eyes were opened by His amazing Grace. 

What if my wonderful crazy friend had given up on me? Where would I be today?

I always said I would be happy to be ridiculed by 99 out of a hundred people, if it made a difference to just one. So today I am sticking with that belief. For that one person reading this now, if you are searching for Love ...look no further, God Loves you, all of you, no matter what you have done, wherever you are in life. He has a great plan just for you, but cannot show you until you put your hand in His.

It says in Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares The Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jesus His only son died on the cross in your place, to overcome the sins of the world, so that we may be forgiven. Because He died in our place, because He paid the price already, we have a free gift. We just have to open our hearts and let Him in.

You can do this by quietly praying, reading the Bible, there are lots of apps for bibles,  asking a friend that you know has a deep faith, signing up for an alpha course on line, messaging me...don’t be wondering any longer.

 It is a great time to try lots of different types of churches online on a Sunday. To see where you would ‘fit’ best. Ask your friends, if you know they enjoy church, which ones do they ‘go to’ during lockdown. It is a starting point, to discover in a safe environment, at home, with coffee.

If your heart is racing as you read this, then He is knocking for sure. Don’t delay, find out more, take a step of Faith. God showed me it was not a big brick wall I had to climb over as I thought, but a thin pencil line on the road. Anytime I wanted to I could step back over the line.

But in all these years I never wanted to go near that line, never mind back over it. I am so very happy walking hand in hand with God, Jesus and The Holy Spirit. I am never alone.

And when I need a crutch I know He will be there, to pick me up, carry me in His everlasting arms, place me on a stretcher...whatever I need Him to be He will be. More than a crutch, He is my life saver now and forever.

So I am not going to hide away behind a Christian only Facebook page. I will leave it to you all to decide if you want to read my blogs knowing they will always mention the ‘G’ and ‘J’ word. I am not going to apologise. I just ask that you forgive me for past hurts, to maybe skip over my blogs. Jesus is my life. I pray that will never change. I pray one day He will be yours to, if He isn’t already.

So folks, always and forever...’This is me’.